Hi, I’m Kelsey. I’m a wife, mother, part-time employee and overwhelmingly average. I’ve lived in the same town for the last 19 years, traveled very little, partially completed a college degree and set aside numerous goals, dreams and aspirations to sit quietly in this corner of my life. In a world that counts our value on where we’ve been, who we’ve met, the brand of shoes you wear and how many likes and followers you have, I’m sitting pretty low on the totem pole. Sometimes that’s hard. To look back on my short life and to recognize how few measurable accomplishments I’ve made is often painful. To think about the goals unaccomplished and the broken dreams is disheartening. Fighting the constant battle of wondering if I’ll ever be good enough to measure up is tough because that inner voice is always there… saying something.
When I received my acceptance letter from college, it was hard to believe that all my dreams could actually come true. It was hard to believe that life existed beyond high school and that the possibility of becoming someone was real. Yet, there it was - proof, I was going to live my dreams. That fall, my parents drove me to school where I had been accepted as 1 of 40 students in one of the top rated Interior Design programs in the nation. I had worked hard to get there and I had the talent to stay. Everything was perfect and stayed that way the remainder of the semester. At the end of the semester, I was scheduled to return home for the winter to return the next summer.
That winter home was a tough one. I was dating my then boyfriend (now husband) who played tennis at BYU and was facing the reality that my dreams couldn’t co-exist with his. That on one hand I wanted to be a designer, a career-driven women who did it all and on the other hand also wanted to marry and have children (which I actually believe now, the two can co-exist). As summer approached, the reality that college costs money (of which I didn’t have any) and the fact that someone else's dreams mattered to me, I made the excruciatingly painful decision to not return to the university where I had been previously accepted. The last 10 years had been an accumulation of planning out how to achieve that one dream of becoming a designer, and one day an architectural engineer. Now what? What was left in my life, if the goal that consumed so much of my mind, was now just a back-up plan to another plan? And so I continued on with my life, telling myself this was totally fine and that one day…. Always one day, those dreams would happen. And so, I got married, continued going to school and had children.
Sitting quietly in my corner and feeling like the world is passing by is painful. Feeling average is painful. Feeling forgotten and alone is painful. And most of the time we forget, that pretty much everyone is in a pretty similar position - okay, so maybe not Justin Beiber - but, the rest of us billions of humans fall somewhere between average and ordinary. Most of us have dreams on hold for endless amounts of reasons, and they’re probably amazing reasons too.
We need the average, normal people, like you and me.